Being the eldest means being responsible for your siblings’ welfare. This is immediate with no way to end the subscription.
The eldest is both the support of your parents and your siblings’ foundation when things don’t work out as planned.
As the eldest son of the family, it can feel like carrying this responsibility is more like continuing a great legacy that your parents started.
From the perspective of an eldest daughter, they believe that eventually managing the family is their automatic leadership call to secure the future of the remaining family members.
The eldest daughter may tend to resort to family manager syndrome, if necessary.
Unlike the eldest sons like me, the eldest daughters have a different approach when it comes to family matters.
Knowing why the eldest daughters feel the need to end up managing the family, in case of the parents’ absence, points to different environmental and social factors.
The Effect of Birth Order on Their Leadership
The eldest daughters of the family take their birth order seriously.
Parents rely on their eldest daughter because of their ability to carry responsibility seriously, have the heart to look after their younger siblings, and easily handle problems.
Several studies pointed out that firstborn children are natural-born leaders because they mature early to lend a hand to their siblings.
This is about helping the eldest daughter achieve stability to keep their siblings in check during their parents’ absence.
Immediate Expectation to Assist and Manage
Having that family manager syndrome among the firstborn children stems from the immediate expectation that they must assist their parents to help manage their siblings.
This idea assumes that the firstborn is always the most mature person. Expecting one’s birth order to be equivalent to their maturity level.
The concept was passed down within the identity of the eldest daughter. She thinks that responsibility is bound to her personality.
Although inspiring as it seems, this will lead to exhaustion and frustration. In the end, the eldest daughter may not perceive any mistake as a way to learn or strategize.
Believing that Women’s Emotions are Strong
Every family dynamic expects too high of their daughters’ emotional stability, particularly if there are eldest daughters among the family members.
Eldest daughters are assumed who need less time to absorb their emotions, especially in times of conflicts or distress.
This did not say that eldest sons are dispassionate and blind to their siblings.
But it heavily assumes that women tend to bottle up emotions, including those of their siblings, and help them overcome them.
Developed Leadership Skills at an Early Age
The eldest daughter’s leadership skills are stretched so that they would become effective family managers as kids mature.
Eldest daughters tend to have quick initiative and a highly empathetic side. That would make them a more reliable source of a strong foundation for the family.
It is one way to train the eldest daughters on how to be self-dependent, confident, and capable as they grow up.
The Risky Part of Being an Eldest Daughter
Being called most responsible, reliable, and any other descriptions that best describe the eldest daughter can be pleasant to the ears.
But checking up on the eldest daughter is the necessary care they need to ensure their health and stability.
What people do not realize about being the eldest is the need to overcome the pressure, demands, non-negotiables, and stress.
Holding the pride of being the first of the birth order means nothing to the emotional and mental health risks associated with becoming the most responsible child.
How Can the Eldest Daughter Manage Smoothly?
There are no shortcuts or direct answers as to how can eldest daughter can manage her siblings or her family well.
Here are some essential tips that can help you manage yourself, your family, and the expectations around you:
- Separate some time and resources between yourself and your family.
- Be reasonable, open, and clear with your decisions.
- Stop doing things on your own by sharing responsibilities with your siblings.
Managing a Family is Not a One-Man Show
Being the eldest daughter means having a stable person to rely on when parents are gone, and everything is falling apart.
You can be your family’s source of strength and support, but not an investment or a machine to secure the entire family’s success.
Don’t let your responsibility and your birth order limit your definition of you. Handling your family or siblings is not a one-man show, but a group effort with a strong support system.