Having a great and supportive mother-in-law is what your partners are hoping for after getting married to you.
Being a mother-in-law does not have the impression of being too meek, too passive, or too dramatic.
What you’ve seen on TV can be a reflection of other mothers-in-law, but not all of them are like that.
There are ways to become the benevolent mother-in-law that your child and their partner can rely on, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
Here are the 8 ways that a mother-in-law must always remember:
Changes in Family Dynamics
As a mother-in-law, your children’s marriages can affect the family dynamics you have.
Just like how you and your husband have cleaved with each other.
Accept the reality that your child will now focus on building their “family” with their partners.
That means, they are now the players of life’s game while you’ve become a coach. Your role is essential in keeping their marriage secure, stable, and working.
Every Marriage Has Different Struggles
Never compare or liken your married life to your child’s and your child’s partner’s current life.
Their relationship faces a different struggle that is new to them, unknown to you, or a generational challenge that you might not understand.
Instead of being one-sided, listen, ask, and be curious about their relationship.
Understand that support is what they need from you the most.
Don’t Be Messianic
A mother-in-law must keep themselves away from direct interference in their child’s married life.
Offer them help when the couple reaches out. If your advice or help isn’t needed, you can silently hope they will overcome their struggles.
Assure the couple that you are always open to listening, helping, or mediating for them if they wish.
Understand Their Boundaries
Your child will start to set boundaries for themselves as a couple. That means their attention, focus, and top priorities will no longer be you.
Don’t feel disappointed or angry about this. Every couple sets their boundary to keep their family-building independent and self-discovery.
Trust that your child and their partner can build a fruitful and strong family.
Stay Neutral During Disagreements
It is normal and healthy for every relationship that couples may have certain disagreements.
When this happens, avoid becoming one-sided or supporting your child.
Disagreements have different root causes, many of which aren’t fully visible.
Stay neutral and part of the solution.
Respectful Even Behind Closed Doors
Being respectful to your child and your child’s partner’s relationship is best tested when they are not around.
What you say about them matters the most because it describes your role as a mother-in-law.
Talking badly about their relationship is telling people that you are domineering and would likely cause your children’s marriages to fail sooner or later.
A great mother-in-law would be supportive of their children’s married life, even if they are not around.
Be Open and Supportive
Life is tough in the earliest moments of marriage.
The couple is expected to reveal each other’s natural character.
Trouble is expected along the way. But how you are portrayed as a mother-in-law throughout their married life is a critical moment for them.
Always show your support and openness to the couple, even though they don’t need your help.
This will motivate them to stay independently strong without pressuring and without controlling moments.
Be Joyful and Busy
A mother-in-law’s relationship, life, or individuality will not end after their children’s marriage.
That’s why they should remember that they also have a life to maintain.
By that, it reminds them to keep themselves in control of their lifestyle.
A healthy mother-in-law is what encourages their family to be conscious as well.
Connection Over Comparison
A great mother-in-law does not aim to make their child’s marriage that challenging.
Their role is to support and encourage their children to be committed to their marriage partners.
Being a mother-in-law has nothing to do with who’s in control, but who’s connected with you.
With your guidance, you also reap the flourishing relationship of your children.
Thus, a legacy worth remembering and continuing.
What’s a greater benefit than this is that it leads the mother-in-law to be calm and right on track for a healthy lifestyle.