Are you familiar with the story of Narcissus?
A Greek mythological character who has drawn on loving himself, and ends up loving himself excessively.
That’s where the term “narcissist” comes from. Simply put, the term meant as an excessive lover of himself.
But when you deep dive into the term, it’s not just “love of oneself” that is clearly defined in that matter.
A narcissistic personality is about someone who prioritizes their feelings, interests, and needs.
They are someone in your life who demands consistent attention, puts themselves at the center of everything, and is always there to manipulate emotions.
At first, their presence, behavior, and lifestyle don’t appear disruptive or harmful to you.
But there will be a time when you can be drained because they can cause a serious effect on your emotional and mental health.
Understanding a narcissist’s personality is not about adjusting to their needs.
It should be about knowing how you can:
- Set healthy boundaries
- Learn when to say “no”
- Become much more observant
- Protect your emotions and mind
- Resist the emotional manipulation
- Deal with pessimistic traits slowly
- Preserve healthy relationships
Many people don’t understand what the term truly means.
Somehow, they are also clueless about how to spot a narcissist and how to deal with the problems.
Let’s learn how you can identify a narcissist and deal with them.
What’s Narcissism?
Who doesn’t want to feel appreciated, praised, and seen through their efforts?
We all want that feeling.
The validation comes from being recognized, admired, and heard for all of the efforts we’ve made.
But when the feeling is clouding your mind, that’s where the exaggeration starts.
Narcissism is when one displays an excessive level of self-importance while lacking concern for the welfare of others.
There is also a personality disorder named after it, which experts have defined as a condition that only they can confirm.
Although we cannot diagnose or easily observe someone who may have this disorder, it’s essential to learn their behavioral patterns.
We aim to recognize the toxic traits of narcissism to protect your emotions and your relationships from its possible impact.
Narcissists don’t respect boundaries. The only way to secure yourself from their actions is to be aware.
Why is This a Health Concern?
Health is a strong word, but it’s also lengthy in nature.
It is composed of different levels and factors.
It’s beyond physical activities, established mindset, and lifestyle habits.
Narcissism targets your emotional well-being, draining you or your loved ones.
When your emotions are targeted, it will make a negative impact on you as a whole.
Should you keep a relationship that normalizes imbalance, destructive criticism, and manipulation, it can cause you:
- Diminishing self-confidence
- Anxiety
- Poor mindset
- Having trust issues
- Emotional stress
- Chronic drain
If your emotions are weakened, it will also affect your physical and psychological aspects.
This is the reason why spotting a narcissist is a health concern for you.
Although they exist, experts have studied and learned about their patterns over the years.
Here are the signs that one could be a narcissist, and you must deal with them strategically:
First Sign: Obsessive on Becoming the Center of Attention
People with narcissistic tendencies love to be recognized and showered with much attention.
They want us to discuss much about their challenges, opinions, experiences, and achievements in life.
When you converse with them, the topic revolves around them and everything about them.
They don’t want to:
- Know more about you.
- Ask how you are doing.
- Engage in your personal matters.
In short, they don’t want to talk about anything but THEM.
For example, you want to discuss something personal with them
They usually respond in a way that inserts themselves into the conversation.
Although some people do this to gain a connection with you in the conversation, it’s way worse for narcissists.
They want to dominate the conversation without you knowing it.
A healthy conversation must be one where people are appreciated and seen.
Second Sign: Excessive Need for Validation
Everyone loves to be encouraged, complimented, or at the very least appreciated.
But people with narcissistic personality tend to rely on flattery to make their image strong and respected.
They depend on praise as their lifeline, and their reputation is at stake.
Most of them secure frequent approval from:
- Family
- Friends
- Relatives
- Colleagues
- Significant other
- Fans (if they are influential)
- Employees
- People who idolize them.
Narcissists use statements that would degrade themselves, so other people can hear them loudly and performatively comfort them.
It’s just that their self-worth, confidence, and entire self depend on the validation they get from others.
That’s why they want the attention so bad.
Third Sign: Lacking Empathy for Others
Narcissuses believe that they are the main character of this life.
As if the entire universe revolves around their story and needs.
That’s why they don’t believe that they should be concerned about the welfare of other people.
When you talk to them about their problems, they will respond with a situation that shifts the focus to them.
Eventually, the story becomes more about them, less about you.
It makes you feel emotionally unsupported, isolated, or silently dismissed.
Their lack of empathy towards you and other people can slowly cause harm to your relationship.
Fourth Sign: Bad at Taking Criticisms
Although no one loves to be criticized, an average person doesn’t react the same way as a narcissist.
When narcissists hear someone is giving feedback about them, they can easily feel:
- Triggered
- Angry
- The need to blame
- Excuse themselves
- Points to someone as a fall guy
- Defensive
- Believe that it is a personal attack
If they happen to be an employee, chances are that they would not thrive as one.
Because they intend to process their manager or boss’s feedback as a personal attack.
Much worse, if they believe that they are infallible.
Fifth Sign: Believes They are “Too” Special
One common characteristic of these narcissists is that they have a strong sense of entitlement for themselves.
They always believe they deserve to be treated specially in all aspects.
Other entitlement acts they can do are:
- Gets upset easily when things aren’t favorable for them.
- Expecting returns on the favors they provide.
- Believe that they have an exemption to anything.
- They are above any rules or laws.
- Deserving of high regard by everyone
Such entitlement created the impression that they have the privilege of many things.
However, this happened when the narcissist had an unparalleled level of pride in himself.
Sixth Sign: Relationship that Works Only in Their Favor
Be careful when having a relationship with narcissists.
Chances are, they only love it when it’s parasitic.
Meaning, they solely benefit from it.
You may shower them with affection, favor, and generosity.
Of course, they would love that one.
But the problem?
They won’t reciprocate it, or they would as long as they’re able.
This is how draining they are in terms of partnership.
Seventh Sign: They Rarely Accept Accountability
It’s also common for narcissists to evade responsibility.
When they did wrong, they blamed it on others.
Should a problem arise, they want someone else to resolve it for them.
They also do the following acts to ignore personal accountability:
- Blame-shifting
- Excuse themselves
- Manipulate events
- Rewrite the actual event
- Avoid apologizing
- Never acknowledge their wrongdoings.
What’s worse about narcissists is that when a problem is resolved by someone else, they take the credit.
Believing they take the critical part in resolving such a dilemma.
They don’t want to be held accountable because they don’t value honesty and believe they are not responsible for the damage they inflicted.
Clear Distinction: Confidence and Narcissism
There are clear boundaries between one’s confidence and narcissism.
A confident person is empowered but aware of the boundaries.
- Access feedback well
- Celebrate the success of others
- Values personal relationships
- Treat people with respect.
While the narcissist is a self-proclaimed empowered person, they intentionally step over your boundaries.
- They believe they’re superior
- Requires validation from others
- Admire themselves
- Stumble the feelings of others
How to Secure Yourself Emotionally?
Dealing with a narcissist is a challenging matter.
They are strong enough to drain your energy.
That’s why protecting your emotional and psychological wellness is needed.
Here are tips you need to secure yourself emotionally from narcissists:
- Prioritize your personal growth.
- Have a supportive circle.
- Never seek validation from others.
- Learn to acknowledge when you’re wrong.
- Establish healthy boundaries.
- Engage with them less.
- Be wise in your interaction.
- Keep your self-awareness alert.
The Essence of Self-Awareness
Narcissism is a challenging personality type to deal with.
When an individual has this personality, it seems they are a towering pride that can disrupt relationships and the well-being of others.
The way to combat narcissists is to have high self-awareness.
You can protect your emotions, value a thriving relationship, set healthy boundaries, and enjoy the idea of having a supportive community.
A healthy lifestyle habit won’t be that satisfying when you have narcissists around you.
It’s not bad to prioritize yourself, but don’t shower yourself with attention and validation from others.
Life is much better when you live and thrive outside of people’s expectations.
It’s much more liberating than you expect.